every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just googled if crying burns calories
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
