After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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