Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
