How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
