Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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