Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
