i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize