I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
