my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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