You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
