Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
