I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize