Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
