Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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