FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
