I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
