I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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