I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize