ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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