I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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