I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She bit a glass in half.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
