"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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