I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
