We won't sleep together?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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