we have officially lost it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
