idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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