there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
