i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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