I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
that's an acceptable place to lick
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
