I think i peed on brittanys purse
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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