i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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