I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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