I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
