wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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