life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
