I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
