I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
