my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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