What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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