yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
