I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
