She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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