im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
