just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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