Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
