i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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