Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
