I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
