Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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