I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
