You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
