Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
why is half of my head shaved?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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