I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
