They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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