Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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