clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
