We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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