Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
