If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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