I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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