Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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